Do you ever stop and think you could actually live the rest of your life (however long or short it will be), eventually cease to exist and be ‘Unfinished’?
Things that 20 years ago lay before you waiting to be accomplished and/or experienced and here you are, pausing for a moment and that potential and passion that once was, catches up to you, making you acknowledge it did at one time exist but is now faded and catatonic, life never breathed into it. Never will be.
Now this, too, is for now, unfinished…
As I’ve written a bit about in previous posts, I’ve gone through quite a broad and deep transformation as far as religion and spirituality goes.
I was just sitting here surfing around totally unrelated to anything religious or spiritual and suddenly realized I might not want there to be an afterlife. I’ve been thinking more and more that I may just not care, as long as I don’t have to be aware of living anymore, if that makes any sense.
I’ve spent 40 years trying to learn and grow as a spiritual being with the constant belief in some kind of afterlife, and that being ‘released from my earthly/flesh bonds’ would be the greatest thing to ever happen and I’d flit around the Universe in Spirit forever having a smashingly grand time.
I think I just want sleep. Rest. Shut down. Stop. Cease. End.
I want Oblivion.
Very soon.
Death has come knocking; not for me, but at my request. I grab my jacket and walk out the door with him. I have questions I need answered, there are things we need to talk about. He can take a few minutes and humor me over a latte or whatever it is Death sips on to keep warm.
So you see, Death and I, well, he has some explaining to do to me.
