Posts Tagged ‘FrankenArm’
A while back I relayed the tragic and historically inaccurate tale of what I have come to love and accept and refer to as my FrankenArm. It was worse at one point, it was FrankenZombieArm when it was melting off nuclear green allergic reactive flesh. Anywho, I admitted in those blogs that I hadn’t quite told the whole truth about how my beloved FrankenArm came about. For the sake of historical accuracy, I will do the best I can now.
I did break it in a fall, but the fall was helped along by my 15 (at the time) year old daughter. She and I were in the midst of a heated argument after I found out she was lying to me about some activities she’s been involved in. Push did come to shove and when she landed on the floor, she began kicking out and slapping at me, she slapped my glasses off at which point I backed up and began extricating myself from the area, my brains had kicked in and alerted me that this situation had gone too far and stop immediately… as I turned and moved away from her to walk away down the hall, she at once tripped me with one foot and kicked me with the other, propelling my 200lb as down to the floor in a tripped up, flailing fall, which I attempted to (stupidly) stop by catching my (remember, 200lbs) self with my left arm. All my weight, falling down hard and fast, landing on my outstretched, single arm. How smart was I?
The sound of that snapping (I heard and watched both bones in my forearm snap as I collapsed) is horrible to me, and I can still hear it in my head. The only thing I’ve ever broken before was a middle toe! Heck yeah, I had 2 kids and didn’t blink an eye, but that was different…
The other day I came to some realization of why I reacted so ‘dramatically’ when my arm broke. First and most obvious was just the situation itself. I had actually gotten in a physical brawl with my beloved daughter whom my therapist often told me I was ‘deifying’. She was the reason I got up in the morning for years. She was the only reason I was/am actually still breathing and walking the planet and not sleeping with the worms like I had every intention of being before I found out I was pregnant with her. She had changed my entire world.
Secondly, I’ve spent my whole life being ‘the strong one’ and was just damned tired of it. I decided to just take a little ‘me’ time and scream like a loon until the paramedics got there (they were called because the girls thought I might have whacked my head on the bricks on the floor as well… bricks? You say? They were holding down the base of the cat’s kitty tower until it could be re-tightened. My head never hit them, I was just being a shrieking drama queen for the moment).
So that’s it. The truth about HOW the arm got broken. I’ve spent the last 2 years either flat out lying about it or sugar coating it. Next, I’ll clear up the ‘after’ story. I lied about my recovery at home and the ‘help’ I got from the Girls. TOO (the Other One) did what she could, she had 2 small kids…PS (Princess Satan) didn’t even stay with me when I got home from the hospital. Even though when I was discharged I do remember somebody instructing us that I wasn’t to be alone for a while. After a few days PS would even refuse to take my dog out for me, saying ‘Your arm’s broken, not your legs!’ My Mom told me on the phone she felt bad, she should have came out & taken care of me (she lives in Cortez, CO) so I lied & told her the girls were making meals for me, doing my laundry, helping me bathe, etc. None of it was true. A bath would take me so long I had to nap afterwards because it wore me out, washing my hair was terrible. TOO helped once because I got in while she was here, and PS helped twice…both times bitching and rushing and snapping at me when I’d direct her to rinse an area or get behind my ears…so it was easier to just take my time & do it. That’s the one positive thing breaking my arm taught me; slow down, take my time, it’ll get done. Oh, and I can do stuff for myself I didn’t think I could, just create a new way to get it done. Like opening cans with a regular can opener (god forbid I asked PS for help, but most of the time she wasn’t there…this is the time period she moved in w/ TOO because of the problems she & I were having that culminated in the broken arm incident.) It took ages to get them open, and hurt, but I figured it out (one handed, lol).
*Note; Pics have NOT been posted on this blog.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
FrankenZombiePlague Arm
If ur easily squeamish, use caution if u go look at my latest arm pics. Maybe don’t be eating anything…lol.
It looks worse than it feels, it feels wonderful, considering what its gone thru. The only thing that hurts is wen I try to rotate it, like just enough to face palm up…ow. Thats going to be what I’m working on in physical therapy, (haven’t started that yet, prob in 2 weeks) that and I still have quite a bit of numbness in my index finger and thumb. Dr thinks those nerves should heal to close to 100% eventually, again…phys therapy. But if my phys therapist hurts my wittle arm, I WILL kick! I can’t help it, thats my automatic reaction, lol.
I don’t see Dr again for 2 weeks, he just pulled off the steri-strips & cleaned up the top incision, snipped the stitches out of the side one, scrubbed it down w/ Betadine & peroxide, slapped some gauze on it, re-wrapped it & re-splinted it. He’s thinking we may not even have to put it in a cast at all; I just have to be careful…no hockey playing or teenage daughter smack down wrestling (most of you know by now what really happened & why).
As for my little friends, the metal plates, if they end up needing to be removed, it’s usually a year down the road.
My girls stomached it better this time; C* even got picture happy above & beyond what I’d expected she’d do, she was directing me, ‘hold it this way, the lights better’. S* even pulled herself outta her cuddly bed, got Lola put together and drove me to my appointment, and while there, she didn’t even throw up, even tho she had an empty tummy! I’m so proud of my girls. S* didn’t even complain while she taxied me all over town to pay bills.
Then I had to come home & take a nap.
I’m a Grandma…I can do that.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Almost Time for the Unveiling…
Tuesday morning I go to the Dr. again and they unwrap my arm. Like ‘The Mummy’, I bet there’s creepy music playing in the background, if not, I’ll have to hum something… haven’t seen it since last Tues when it went all plague looking on me. Its feeling kinda weird lately, I’ve never had a broken bone, so I’m not sure whats up w/ it, but maybe its part of the healing. It doesn’t feel ‘bad’ or like somethings wrong, so I’ll take it as healing. Its been itching like crazy, lol, and I have 2 huge incisions down both sides or my arm so I can’t stick anything down there to itch. I kinda feel maybe the metal plates in there are causing some of the weirdness feelings…Dr says most times, the plates eventually come out/off the bone, so that means another surgery, I forgot to ask how long I have until this usually happens, you know, how long the plates usually stay in, hopefully I’ll remember to ask Tues. I told the girls they had to take pictures when the wrappings came off, S*said: ‘No go’, with a grossed out look on her face, she’s a party pooper. C* just took my remark as a request, like ‘take the garbage out’ I’m sure she’d rather not, but she knows Mama said, so fine, she’s resigned to pointing the phone & clicking, lol. I told her she didn’t have to look, you know they both totally will! It doesn’t have that crazy-itchy almost painful itchy feel like last week before we discovered the steri-strips (we think) had caused the zombie arm/plague arm allergic reaction…that whole melting globs of flesh stuff…
Anywho, look, you just read a whole blog about my arm that tells you absolutly nothing interesting! Sorry, I just felt like blogging and I can’t get my brain together (silly pain pills and one handed typing) to blog about some things I’ve been thinking way too much about. I will tho, cuz I’ve been thinking way too much about them…
Originally posted as a Journal entry;
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
How Me & My Arm Spent Tuesday;
So I went to my broken arm Dr this afternoon with C*, S* & baby L*(T*). We’ve been waiting all this time for the swelling to go down so I could get a cast on it finally. So we go in, kinda curious, I didn’t look when they re-wrapped it after my surgery before I went home; it was still too new & sore & weird…the girls didn’t see it either; so we’re all waiting to be amazed by FrankenArm, I know it has 2 big ol’ incisions in it w/ stitches & the tape stuff over then, blah, blah…well…ew…first the nurses start unwrapping it and begin talking amongst themselves about getting saline & working the gauze off, & as they do that, ‘oh, we better get the Doctor for this one’, and ‘does that hurt? Because it looks like it really hurts…’ and ‘oh, wow, I’ve never seen that before..wow, oh, don’t slip in that, its just oozing everywhere…get me more absorbent gauze, more water on it, flush that off…oh, its just coming out…’ ‘Ya, better get the Dr.’
At this point I see both my girls’ faces going white & pasty, to match the nurses, C* actually rolls her chair back, her eyes are huge, S* looks like someone just tried to chloroform her, so now I’m feeling weird, and look over at my emerging arm…ya, it was kind of like when someone gets space goo or monster acid or alien drool or something on them and their skin bubbles up & oozes green & pink stuff. So one takes off for the Doctor, I mouth something like, ‘water…feeling faint…woozy’ they grab me a bottled water which the girls promptly grab from me and guzzle from themselves, fanning their own faces! The Dr. see’s my draining face and promptly lays me down on the table and goes about examining my sci-fi arm. And the only thing I can think of is ‘I wish my other Grandkids, N* (4 in May) and D* (5 in May) were here to see this, they’d LOVE it!’
He’s only seen this once before, says Dr. it looks like an allergic skin reaction the suture tape stuff and/or adhesive stuff, but he’s never seen it this bad. Well, glad I could contribute to medical knowledge. C* relayed to me a sight she caught; probably give her nightmares, lol, she said she witnessed a ‘big chunk of the skin of my arm just slide off in a blob and u could see flesh underneath’. She didn’t eat anything all day until just before bedtime.
Poor kid..tee hee.
I’d even picked out my cast color, neon green…well, I got green…nuclear, weird arm allergic reaction green bubbled up skin with the right amount of oozing pinkish fluid & melting flesh…
So he re-wrapped it, put the splint back on, refilled my fun pain meds, added some antibiotics and sent me home until next Tuesday.
I looked behind me at the floor on the way out, glad nobody slipped in that, hope they got it cleaned up okay…thats part of my wittle arm I left on their floor.
*Note; This entry too, will be updated with a second part containing the actual details as opposed to the ’smile & fake it’ that’s written here & what I posted elsewhere.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
My Wannabe Bionic Arm Update…
I saw my Dr. today who did my surgery, the x-rays look great, well, aside from those 2 prominent metal plates and screws in my bones, lol, but they do look pretty good considering what they were! Nice & straight, but he didn’t put it in a cast 2day, he wants the swelling to go down a bit more, so I’ll be getting a cast on Tuesday. I’m thinking that neon green color. So if u wanna sign it you’ll have to come by, I haven’t attempted driving my car yet, (duh, I’m on pain killers & muscle relaxers, so I have no business in the drivers seat of a car anyway) and don’t think I will for a while (it’s a 5 speed)…that might be interesting when the time comes, I’ll be sure to have lots of spotters tho, in case Its just not gonna happen. Today’s the longest I’ve been out of bed since this happened and I’m doing good so far, just don’t try & make me say big words or complete sentences. This is also the 1st time I was outside & walked around a little, glad it was warm. I’m just so paranoid without the cast on for that little bit of extra security & stability, the Dr. flat out told me if I re-injure this I’m pretty much screwed.
On another note, my estranged went back to jail Monday, when the girls called him to tell him what happened w/ me he said I was faking! He’s on zero tolerance parole, he had an empty meth baggie on him and was high at the time, so if they follow their own rules he should be going back to prison. Maybe now he’ll sign the divorce papers, he’d been refusing to since I’d drawn them up after he agreed to the dang thing in the first place! Dang games people play just to amuse themselves! If they amused everyone it’d be different…we’d all be happy.
I’m kinda getting bored of always sleeping on my back tho.
Big Giant Thank You to C*who helped me take a bath & wash my hair, and Tony my Super Bud who at the last minute was willing to take me to my Dr. appt (S* had to be at another Dr with M* who had some pretty serious shoulder surgery today) and ended up sitting there for 2 hours with us! Without even a hint of a frown or fidget. And thanx 2 busy S* who managed to then go get my meds refilled and help C* with Toby all day even while she was busy w M* & the grandbabies! And Toby, my little trooper! Not one accident or naughty behavior in the house! Just by my side constantly and cleaning up my crumbs so I don’t sleep in them and get all uncomfortable, lol, and keeping me company and cuddly & warm in bed and while I watch tv!
*Note; This is how this journal entry was originally written. It was posted on another site in my blog for all my friends, family and world to read. So I altered the truth. I will update this blog with a second part in a day or 2, for my own benefit, just because I’m tired of pretending things were something other than what they were.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I broke myself…
I’d been having a bad week already…feeling under the weather and dealing with relationship drama w/ my estranged husband…a few differences of opinion w/ my youngest daughter…normal teenager vs mom stuff about rules & interpretation of…it all piled up and I’m sure it weakened me emotionally and physically, I’d been sleeping the week away (I get to a point where I shut down for a few days & then usually have a better energy to tackle things from anew, and Sunday evening I was having the worst day so far, and I ended up tripping in my hallway as I was in a burst of anger and frustration, in a quick, heavy, angry rush down the hall and went down hard & fast…I tried to catch myself with my left hand, palm spread, all my weight and speed of the fall taken by that arm.
I ended up snapping both forearm bones like they were nothing.
I was taken to the hosp by ambulance. I’ve never broken a bone in my life but for a toe, so I went into hysterics then shock when this happened. I never even missed a breath or uttered a whimper giving birth to either one of my girls!
I’ve always been the rock and the tough one.
Anyway, I needed surgery, I have 2 plates in my arm with 6 screws each. My Daughters and my Son-in-law are helping so much and being so wonderful, and of course Toby & Blight are keeping watch by my side.
I feel like a helpless baby! C* had to help me blow my nose, lol, they have to open my pill bottles, dress me, walk me (I’m wobbly from pain killers) help me eat, and even do this…(type) I hate feeling I’m a burden to people, but maybe I need to stop trying to get everything done & under control (my control) myself 4 a while, I think that’s what got me into this in the first place.
I don’t know how long I’ll be a feeb; I think my Dr., (who is strict w/ the pain meds, but a wonderful, kind, genuinely concerned brilliant Dr. nonetheless; he checked on me personally like 5 or 6 times and was even calling during the night for updates from the nurses) is going to put a cast on Thurs, its super swollen now, and I haven’t gotten as far yet as to find out how long this will take to heal. I’m just going to rest & think happy thoughts…
So far it looks like no nerve damage, but lefty will never be the same. I have two long, approx 4 inch incisions in my arm, and I don’t even care!
Thank you, Tony & J* (Sister-in-law) for checking on me & worrying, and thank you endlessly to my girls S*& C*and son-in-law M*, I love you!
I never want to hear that horrible sound again! (the bones snapping).
I’m off to bed w/ my happy pills…
Journal entry, originally written;
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A Few Things… (brief FrankenArm update, etc)
Just a few things from this Month so far.
May 17th was 3 Months since my arm was broken. Its doing good. Won’t ever be 100%, but hopefully will get to at least 75. I love saying ‘My plates ache!’ just because it sounds so ridiculous. That and it’s true. And I just like whining.
The inside scar is 5 & 1/4 inches. Still very bright red, raised and very obvious. I think I’m getting a little self conscious about it. The outside one is thinner, going silver, not so dark, and 3 & 3/4th inches long. Yes, I do put Vitamin E oil on it. The bone actually buckled up near my elbow when the break(s) happened and that’s healing up pretty good. It used to be really swollen & painful, couldn’t put any weight on my elbow but it’s behaving now.
Mother’s Day was on the 13th last year, and it was also the day my Dad had his stroke. So both Mother’s Day last week and then the 13th were both weird days for me. The 30th will be one year since he died. Luckily my Mom was in England with her Family for three weeks, so she spent Mother’s Day there, and was actually on the flight back on the 13th. But she too, of course, remembered both days.
It’s very surreal still. Doesn’t feel like a year. Then again, it still doesn’t feel right that he’s gone.
Which reminds me, I wish ppl would stop talking to me about ‘God’. I have a problem with the fact that my Mother has lost her best friend and whole world and been left alone. Anywho, I’d better get off that subject (makes me angry).
Yes, I am extremely jealous I didn’t go to England with her. I haven’t been since I was 14. But I’ll get back there one day.
The 27th (of May) is another sad anniversary; 2 years since my Brother-in-law was shot multiple times and killed by police officers. I am dealing with that better this year. I have to get over some fierce anger and resentment and let some stuff go that will never be settled to my satisfaction.
Good stuff this Month is D*’s Birthday (5 years old!) was the 16th. He’s going to be out here on the 27/28th for 2 weeks.
Anywho, Darlin’ N*’s Birthday is the 31st. The year she was born the date fell on Memorial Day. She’ll be 4. She’s a wild little pony! She reminds me so much of C*, (my youngest daughter) the whole attitude thing. All I can say is I’m staying on her GOOD side!
And today, I actually left the house to go somewhere not a store or appointment. My Son-in-law insisted I go with them my oldest daughter and him) on a walk, so me, him, S*, Toby, C*, N*& T* (last 2 are my granddaughters) all did the small hike up a trail in East Layton to a spot by the little river. My face got some sun, my bad, I forgot sun block, now my normally red face anyway got even redder. I’m glad make up foundation was invented. I realized I am very out of shape (duh!). I also realized Toby is a strong swimmer! Now, remember, he’s only 8 pounds at this time, half Chihuahuah half Mini Pin and the water is just crazy wild & rushing (Spring runoff in Northern Utah/Wasatch Mtn. range).
M* was standing ten feet or so away from where me & Toby were sitting on the low little bridge getting my feet splashed by the water rushing underneath, M* tossed a big rock in which made a huge splash and smacked against another rock, this sudden, loud noise scared the tar outta Toby and before I knew it, he had sproinged off into the rushing water! I’m screaming, C*is screaming, S*is screaming & M*s running towards the edge to try & rescue Toby (I couldn’t have gotten up fast enough, I’d have went right off the bridge too!) But luckily Toby had leaped in closer to the edge and a calmer spot, so after going under twice & almost getting swept away, he scrambled to shore. I think all our screaming and flailing about scared him more than his swim did. He dried off completely by the time we got back to the car, he only got tired once so I carried him for a while. I know when he wants to be picked up because he stops, stands sideways and looks up at me with his head kind of tilted. I think he’s waiting for me to say ‘You want Mommy to pick you up?’ because I always do, then he turns himself so all I have to do is bend over & scoop him up & not even need to fumble him around to pick him up right. He’s not stupid, that’s fo sho.
Anywho, he’s been wore out all day and so have I. Only crazy white kids like mine would want to go hiking around in the middle of the day on the hottest day of the year so far.
And yes, I did whine all the way up, because I like to whine. It amuses me and that’s all that matters.
Feb 20, 2008
I’m handling the pain pretty good now. The first 24 hours sucked ass! first (forgive my lazy punctuation, its a weird hour, I just got up & took Toby out, popped a soma and a perc, made a big glass of chocolate milk (Carnation instant breakfast mix) & decided to check the news & internet out while said drugs kicked in, and I’m just 2 dang lazy to do 2 much extra effort typing than I have 2 all one handed) they didn’t figure out I wasn’t responding to the morphine, well, I tried to tell them that, but then again I’d lost my credibility showing up to the hospital in a freakin ambulance and wailing like a banshee & even telling my girls I wanted my mommy! (well, I did). I’d never broke any bone b4 except a toe when I was a teenager…hurt like hell, but shit happens…this one, I watched it happen, HEARD it, then lay there looking at it!
Once I got to the hospital everyone kept screwing around & yak-yakking & wouldn’t give me anything for pain for ever it felt like. I figured I’d get something to take the edge off being in an ambulance & all…nooooo. so they paw my arm around getting a miniature inflatable raft under it, OW. position it, OW. inflate it, OW. squish the raft too see if its inflated, OW. poof it up some more while prodding to test inflatedness, OW. sit me up, OW. try moving it to a more comfortable/natural position for transport so I don’t look like I’m doing a leaning back parade wave; stand up,OW (seriously, these 2 dudes were big & young & could have gotten me up, instead they acted like I was a downed shire! How dare they make me do all the work! I’m injured! Even my oldest daughter said her & C* (both around 5′4″ n 110-120lbs) could have gotten me up and carried me out to the wambulance…maybe with that super-human daughter strength that only comes from seeing your mother injured and carrying on like a crazy cat lady in an animal seizure raid…I know at some point they had to be thinking, ‘fuck pain killers do you have something to shut her up! here! we’ll even carry her out for you slow asses! that ambulance is sound proof aint it! I’m riding in front! you? sorry, you’re the paramedic, you get back there!’
So I’m boinging all around in the wambulance (you’d think since very sick/injured people are riding in those having serious things done to them they could make them ride a little smoother!) then boinging on a (again, not a smooth ride where one would be a good idea) bed thru the hosp, then being heaved onto another bed…
the morphine did take the very edge off…but that’s it. Then someone finally looked at my medical history and my clenched teeth & pain tremors, & went, ooooohhhh…so then I got Soma (magic) Demerol (heavenly) and my beloved Lortab. that’ll teach em to listen next time I hit the call button every hour on the hour, get the shot of morphine in my IV, and five minutes later call back saying ‘its NOT working!’
then again i don’t plan on being back in there and requiring morphine. sigh. morphine used to be so delightful. how I’ll miss it. wonder if it ever comes back. (I will explain later why morphine wasn’t working on me)
ya, my spongebathers I have now, they’re pretty crabby. well, one is crabby the other is in too much of a hurry, lol. C* complains the whole time, S* keeps thinking shes done and N*, my grandaughter, just wants to wash my hair for an hour then drown me rinsing.
Toby is my constant aid tho, lol. He goes to the potty with me, gets a cookie every time I get my drink to take my meds, sleeps by my side along with his ball, a stuffed animal (thank goodness he killed the squeaker in it) and a rawhide chew, he only leaves to greet whoever’s at the door and go potty with whoever’s taking him out for me (I take him a couple times a day since most of the time nobody else is here with me) as soon as he comes back in he does a full tilt running launch onto the bed from the hallway, kisses me, checks that his stuff is still on the bed and finds a spot to curl up, usually under the blankets. I end up with at least 2 of the 3 cats on the bed with me as well.
I have percocet 5’s and soma….I wonder if that’s what the Dr’s would take if they broke their arm like this…I need a professional spongebather, haha, I’m terrified of getting in the shower and slipping or losing my balance. ya, I think I was going for a triple twist landing and miscalculated. I’m probably off the team.
Date: Feb 22, 2008 1:30 AM
I’ve been reading up on bone healing… mostly it just gives me the shudders when they describe the breaking details! But I’m learning some good stuff. Like in 7 years bones completely renew themselves…something like that. And that I should be eating spinach & collard greens with tofu & milk… yum. Lol. Oh, and popping lysine & vitamin C from a pez dispenser.
I can rebuild me. I have the technology, well, my Dr. has the tech- wait, some top secret lab somewhere has the technology, probably in Sweden or London, I will find this place, and they will give to me the power of Greyskull! I will be better, stronger, faster… able to leap the capital T in a single bound! Maybe I shouldn’t be leaping over stuff, I mean, that’s not smart after just breaking my arm.
April 7 Monday 2008
Oh, if all your good wishes had the power to persuade my fate to alter its downward spiral.
