Over the last few days Tony has developed pneumonia.
I don’t have to tell you what that means.
He’s been sleeping almost constantly. He talks in his sleep. Words you can’t understand, but he’s having conversations, I believe with whomever will be helping him cross over, some of his family believe this too. How could you not when while he’s been awake, he’s told us details of ‘visitors’ he’s had, describing family members he’s never seen. And everyone has heard the footsteps in the hall, the whispering of ones own name, and just tonight, the front door, under an unknown force, opening quite deliberately and to a wide berth, then stopping firm, followed by an electric chill distinctly separate from the wintry weather outdoors that even after the door was shut tight up again by a puzzled family member, had crossed the room and concentrated itself next to Tony’s bed where he lay sleeping. His only reaction? His breathing pattern changed.
We wish we could see, but it must be just between them. We wonder who it was and what they came for… just to sit beside him like he’s told us has happened before (that someone has come in and sat beside him on his bed)? Did they have some important words for him or we’re they just unseen visitors come to check in on him briefly like the endless stream of family and friends.
When it’s my turn, I’ll have my answers.
Whatever it is, whoever they are, please take good care of him when he’s with you.
I told Tony or actually ‘warned’ him that the next time I came over we were going to ‘have the talk’ about if we had any ‘unfinished’ or ‘unsaid’ business between us. He and I have a rare opportunity many people would pay untold amounts for, to be able to say everything we need to say to each other before he departs to the great beyond be it Tír na nÓg, Elysium, Valhalla, Aaru, Nirvana, Svarga, Valinor or Summerland.
My point was to make sure he knew that as far as our relationship goes, he had never done anything wrong, in fact, the only problem we ever had was because of a mutual friend of ours that I no longer have anything to do with and even that could have even been avoided (my bad).
Tony never did anything unbecoming of a perfect gentleman and a perfect friend during our years of friendship. I had hoped to be of some comfort to him, helping him feel (as he is) blameless and proud of who he has been to me as a friend and more. My goal was to be the one comforting and assuring him… didn’t do so good. True to Tony form, he ended up being the one comforting me. By the end of our conversation I was bawling all over him… I kept trying not to cry; I didn’t want to upset him, I didn’t want to go all weird and emotional on him. I take my job visiting/talking with Tony to be more keeping things humorous & silly and away from the serious, emotional stuff, since he has more than enough of that to deal with. I’m more comic relief, I just had to make sure he knew how I felt and what he’s meant to me, but like he said, he knows all that. And I know he know’s what I said was more for my own peace of mind than his. The only unfinished business I’ll have concerning Tony is why someone as wonderful as he is, is being taken away from us.
