I have a tendency to create my own confusion, but as for my name, I didn’t mean to…well, really.
So I’ll clear it up.
I was given up for adoption at birth. She was not allowed to see me or hold me, just to know I was a girl and name me. She named me Laura Rae Anderson. Her name was put down as Linda Sue Anderson.
She was single and staying in an unwed mother’s home (this was 1968, ya know) common practice was for birthdate changes and name changes. Her first, middle or last (or all) were most likely changed. There is actually good evidence that my birthdate was also altered by a day (some of my hospital/newborn records say the 3rd, others say 2nd and they are obviously altered, its officially listed as the 2nd.)
I was adopted by my parents at 6 months old. My Mother has an Aunt and a Grandmother named ‘Laura’ so she kind of wanted to keep my original name, but had a hard time pronouncing ‘Laura Rae R*(adopted last name)’ (she’s British, bred, born & raised East Coast England, and has the ‘Norfolk Broads’ accent) she confessed they really didn’t want to trouble their brains over a new middle name, so they just altered the spelling a bit to Laurie, which is the Scottish spelling after all…(Mom’s family is English/Scottish) I, on the other hand, actually have a harder time saying Laurie Rae…lol… anyway, I ended up being Laurie Rae R*. So that’s who I was (and this is who ppl I went to school with remember me as) until my mid 20’s when I began using ‘Laura’ along with a couple of different last names for ‘pen names’ when I was writing for the ‘naughty mags’ and other stuff…I eventually just began using Laurie and Laura equally. I do have a preference; Laura. It in NO WAY has anything to do with some weird psychological thing I have with my ‘adoptive’ Parents; they are my parents. They are my Family. Their family is my family, its all I have, It’s taken me a while to accept that I’ll likely never find/know my Birth mother let alone the ‘older guy with 3 children’ whom she was babysitting for when she got pregnant with me… birth dad & any siblings. I’m moving on. I’m starting My Family Tree from ME and going from there, both for my 2 Daughters and now my Grandchildren to have at least some family history to start with from me, and for myself to feel some sort of rooting.
Anywho, I’m on my way to legally changing my name to Laura Anderson. Back to the beginning. it fits me. I like it. Both Laurie & Laura are pretty much the same name, come from the same word ‘Laurel’ which, of course, means ‘Victory’. Anderson, well, that could very well be a ‘generic’ last name used for the adoption…fine by me, that fits too…Generic. I’ll always have that bit of me that just doesn’t know exactly where I fit, came from, belong, who I am…so I have that common, encompassing name to blend me in to the blank spot a little. Obscurity. I kind of like it.
*note: I know some of you will say ‘gee, hasn’t it been a while since she first said she was legally changing her name?’ Yes, it has…I have a couple of legal hold-ups to clear up first. One being the state of my current marriage, I haven’t decided on the divorce or not (that’s a long story).
***Updated: I’ve been mulling this name thing over since my (adoptive, but only one I’ve ever had/known) Dad passed away May of ‘07. This is the only family I’ve ever known, and all I have from my birth mother is the name she gave me at birth. I’m back to being indicisive about changing my name again. At least with the last name. I still prefer Laura and my middle name is the only thing I’ve had consistently… I’ll never change that.
! I will admit I have a mild learning disorder that makes it difficult to grasp some types of written instruction, so I spend a lot of time with trial and error, fingers-on experimenting. Which is how I’ve come to learn a lot of things during my life.