Working on changing the header… might be a minute, I am very WP illiterate. That bic pen just ain’t sexxy.
I’m not (yet) very WordPress/Blog savvy. I’m still learning. I try and correct my spelling whenever I (or the faithful spellcheck) catches a whoopsie, but I’m not a spelling Nazi and I’m dang sure not a grammar Nazi! I don’t bother with stuff like proper sentence structure or anything resembling rules that are supposed to be followed when writing poetry or prose or anything at all. I just write it the way I feel it needs to be written. I put the words where & how I want. So if that bothers anyone, if you happen to be a stickler for the rules of proper writing, this blog will probably annoy the daylights out of you.
I’m not writing or blogging anything to demand anyone change their own viewpoint nor to get into comment wars and arguments, I am expressing my own thoughts, opinions, feelings and experiences mostly for my own benefit and future reference. I’m not searching for sympathy, pity, advice or lectures, just putting down my life experience as I see and live it.
I am still (and hopefully always will be) learning and growing and becoming as a human and as a Woman, Mother, Grandmother, etc. My own views are not set in stone, they can change as I learn more and expand my wisdom. I do have a hard time with change, but I do it when it’s the right thing for me.
I’m not a social person, I’m not a happy person. I love my independence but at the same time, love belonging somewhere and knowing I’m a part of something. I am a control freak, but I have learned how to let things go to some extent for my own peace of mind. I think a lot of it is that I am 40, and I’m becoming set in my ways and comfortable with that, I can do what I need to do for myself, if not, I try and find a way around it. I don’t like having to rely on others for help with things I can learn how to manage on my own. I have learned how to admit when I’m wrong, which was a huge step for me and has been nothing but positive.
I grew up knowing (have no idea how I knew though) I didn’t think like everyone else did. That I was different and ‘alien’ to some degree. I learned to fake and blend in and ‘act’ my way through life so as not to stand out and draw attention to myself for being ‘different’.
I was given up for adoption at birth. My birthmother was (going by records and information which all, none or part of may or may not have been altered to some degree) 19 and single at my birth, the story goes, she was pregnant by an older man whom she had babysat for while he was separated from his wife. He had 3 children (my half-siblings). Her name was/is listed on my ‘original birth certificate’ and on my hospital birth records, the name is very common and may as I mentioned above have been changed in whole or part. My birthmother was told I was a girl and she named me, but did not see nor hold me. She had been living at a well known unwed mother’s home. Apparently, her mother was also single. Anywho, I lived with a foster family until I was adopted at 6 months of age my my parents. My dad was in the Air Force, my Mother and he met while he was stationed in England a decade earlier. They tried for 9 years to have children of their own and finally adopted me and then a brother while stationed in Kansas. I was born April 2nd 1968 in Topeka. I do have one or 2 very vague but distinct memories of Kansas, we moved from there when I was around 3 to Northern California, to England for a year (my mom and us went to live with her family while my dad went TDY for that time period) then he was stationed out here in Northern Utah, where he retired after doing 20 years and here we stayed, up until 4 years ago when they moved to SouthWestern Colorado (where my dad was born & raised) and retired. I have never been able to track down any birth family and have recently came to terms with probably never finding anyone. I figure they could also look for me, if at all any of them wanted to find me.
*This is getting long! It is a work under construction, so I will be adding to, taking away from and revising & polishing this entry frequently until I get it the way I want it.
