Posts Tagged ‘Toby’
Only Tony himself, my (estranged) husband and maybe one or two other ppl who ‘know’ me would appreciate that title.
Considering the current state of things…
So I spent the entire weekend at Tony’s, because obviously, we don’t want him to be alone. He is being taken care of by a wonderful set of nurses and hospice, but the majority of his time is being in the company of his sister (he is still living at his own home, the nurses only come a few times a week), although there are other wonderful family members and one or 2 friends who take a turn hangin’ out with Lord Anthony.
He is in bed full time now. He does get up to use the bathroom and wander (with his wheeled walker) into the kitchen to grab a quick snack, but I’m afraid even those brief trips are going to end very soon. He’s done remarkably well, considering. 4 years ago when they told him he was terminal, they gave him 6 months to 2 years, and when he took this latest down turn in approx September and was told he was officially in End Stage Liver Failure, they gave him 2 weeks to 2 months. He himself didn’t expect to make it to Xmas; I told him at least the New Year, then he decided he wanted to see the New Year, and so he has. I think he’s simply worn out at this point though. He’s just tired. He used to be several inches taller than me, now he’s a couple of inches shorter than me.
He had a good weekend, blessedly. He’d had a few bad days before that, which is how he seems to go, a few bad days, a few good days, but each cycle takes a little more out of him.
We had a good weekend, pizza (although he kept trying to fall asleep in his) movies, ghost hunting and crime TV shows, talking and laughing, getting up at 5am, drinking a pot of coffee & eating pancakes then going back to bed til one, lol. Oh, and trying to find the perfect virtual fireplace screensaver, and a free one at that. No, we didn’t find one. I tried out a few then uninstalled them after annoying pop up ads kept obscuring the crackling fires… I think maybe we were too picky about our fireplace too… oh well, we spent a couple of hours enjoying each others company over that so it was worth it. Toby went with me the first night; he’s gone loopy in the head these days, he kept growling at every strange noise and faint bump or child’s screech from the other apartments, and with Tony trying to sleep a good portion of the day, that’s not too productive, especially when Toby’s laying on Tony’s bed and growling, at least when he’s next to me I can put a pillow over him… and press down, ever so slightly… I’m just kidding. I love my neurotic Toblerone. The first night, Toby continued his freaking out, especially when the neighbors finally went to bed (Tony’s hospital bed is in the living room, so I sleep in his room) and we could hear ‘romantic’ noises coming from behind the wall, good lord, I don’t know what that guy takes, but Toby was wigging out half the night. After a few hours of sleep, whoever next door, falls or something (this is how we woke up) and it sounded like someone fell down a flight of stairs, long, loud, drawn out falling & bumping & banging & crashing & thumping… Tony’s jumping out of his skin, and after all that racket, I hear from the other side of the wall a male voice, very bored sounding, say ‘ow’.
Toby stayed with C* over here the next night. And would you believe, Tony & I spent that whole next day wondering why Toby was being so quiet…? Tony even asked me at one point if I had to take Toby out to potty because I hadn’t taken him out in a while, he threw me off for a minute and I was wandering around looking for the dang dog!
Anywho, now I have a Blight kitty laying on my mouse pad, her butt keeps bumping the mouse, and despite all the goofing off & sitting around watching movies with Tony I did, I’m worn out so I’m actually going to bed before 4am tonight.
I just had to share a little. It makes me feel better. I don’t write alot or include a lot of detail because it’s just too raw and difficult right now.
I still think it’s better to be able to say goodbye and spend some time together. I couldn’t do that with my Dad. There was a lot (A LOT) that I wish could have been dealt with but never will be, and so, I must deal with not being able to deal.
Why is it always a ‘Dad issue’? Thank you, Austin Powers.
Goodnight, Tony.
Journal entry, originally written;
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A Few Things… (brief FrankenArm update, etc)
Just a few things from this Month so far.
May 17th was 3 Months since my arm was broken. Its doing good. Won’t ever be 100%, but hopefully will get to at least 75. I love saying ‘My plates ache!’ just because it sounds so ridiculous. That and it’s true. And I just like whining.
The inside scar is 5 & 1/4 inches. Still very bright red, raised and very obvious. I think I’m getting a little self conscious about it. The outside one is thinner, going silver, not so dark, and 3 & 3/4th inches long. Yes, I do put Vitamin E oil on it. The bone actually buckled up near my elbow when the break(s) happened and that’s healing up pretty good. It used to be really swollen & painful, couldn’t put any weight on my elbow but it’s behaving now.
Mother’s Day was on the 13th last year, and it was also the day my Dad had his stroke. So both Mother’s Day last week and then the 13th were both weird days for me. The 30th will be one year since he died. Luckily my Mom was in England with her Family for three weeks, so she spent Mother’s Day there, and was actually on the flight back on the 13th. But she too, of course, remembered both days.
It’s very surreal still. Doesn’t feel like a year. Then again, it still doesn’t feel right that he’s gone.
Which reminds me, I wish ppl would stop talking to me about ‘God’. I have a problem with the fact that my Mother has lost her best friend and whole world and been left alone. Anywho, I’d better get off that subject (makes me angry).
Yes, I am extremely jealous I didn’t go to England with her. I haven’t been since I was 14. But I’ll get back there one day.
The 27th (of May) is another sad anniversary; 2 years since my Brother-in-law was shot multiple times and killed by police officers. I am dealing with that better this year. I have to get over some fierce anger and resentment and let some stuff go that will never be settled to my satisfaction.
Good stuff this Month is D*’s Birthday (5 years old!) was the 16th. He’s going to be out here on the 27/28th for 2 weeks.
Anywho, Darlin’ N*’s Birthday is the 31st. The year she was born the date fell on Memorial Day. She’ll be 4. She’s a wild little pony! She reminds me so much of C*, (my youngest daughter) the whole attitude thing. All I can say is I’m staying on her GOOD side!
And today, I actually left the house to go somewhere not a store or appointment. My Son-in-law insisted I go with them my oldest daughter and him) on a walk, so me, him, S*, Toby, C*, N*& T* (last 2 are my granddaughters) all did the small hike up a trail in East Layton to a spot by the little river. My face got some sun, my bad, I forgot sun block, now my normally red face anyway got even redder. I’m glad make up foundation was invented. I realized I am very out of shape (duh!). I also realized Toby is a strong swimmer! Now, remember, he’s only 8 pounds at this time, half Chihuahuah half Mini Pin and the water is just crazy wild & rushing (Spring runoff in Northern Utah/Wasatch Mtn. range).
M* was standing ten feet or so away from where me & Toby were sitting on the low little bridge getting my feet splashed by the water rushing underneath, M* tossed a big rock in which made a huge splash and smacked against another rock, this sudden, loud noise scared the tar outta Toby and before I knew it, he had sproinged off into the rushing water! I’m screaming, C*is screaming, S*is screaming & M*s running towards the edge to try & rescue Toby (I couldn’t have gotten up fast enough, I’d have went right off the bridge too!) But luckily Toby had leaped in closer to the edge and a calmer spot, so after going under twice & almost getting swept away, he scrambled to shore. I think all our screaming and flailing about scared him more than his swim did. He dried off completely by the time we got back to the car, he only got tired once so I carried him for a while. I know when he wants to be picked up because he stops, stands sideways and looks up at me with his head kind of tilted. I think he’s waiting for me to say ‘You want Mommy to pick you up?’ because I always do, then he turns himself so all I have to do is bend over & scoop him up & not even need to fumble him around to pick him up right. He’s not stupid, that’s fo sho.
Anywho, he’s been wore out all day and so have I. Only crazy white kids like mine would want to go hiking around in the middle of the day on the hottest day of the year so far.
And yes, I did whine all the way up, because I like to whine. It amuses me and that’s all that matters.
I was born April 2nd 1968 in Topeka, KS. No, I don’t know where Toto went, but I do know where Toby* is, he’s currently chasing K2* (one of my cat’s) up and down the hall. Yes, this is usual for them at 2am. We live with no rules… well, unless we have something we have to do. Or my daughter does. Or…
Well anyway, at 2am we have no rules and live for the moment until bedtime (somewhere between now and 4am).
*Toby is my dog. He is half Chihuahua half Mini Pin and will be 2 years old in Feb. He’s a black & tan with one erect ear and one ‘folded’ ear. His actual name is Toblerone because he kind of resembles the package/box the Toblerone candy comes in, long and high to a point at the top. He sometimes looks like a rat running along with his longish body and arched back, other times like a deer curled up in some brush with their long necks and delicate heads perched on them.
*K2 is one of my (and my youngest daughters’) 3 cats. The only Male, he’s a beautiful, fluffy orange tabby. I call him the ‘weirdy’. But there’s a method to his madness. He can find joy and amusement in everything at any time in any place. I’ve seen him walk by a blank wall and suddenly spar with it, then scamper on his way. He can hear a Coke bottle open from a week away and come running looking for the lid. He’s in the litter box right now and he’s having too much fun digging, I can tell. Forbid anyone else is in the box trying to relieve themselves, this is when he has them as a captive audience to reach in and bat at them, like he suddenly forgot they were the same 2 cats he lives with day in, day out & some strange animal is now bumping and scrabbling around in the covered box purely for his amusement.
You know, I almost reached down and pet a chewed up stuffed (and with squeaker still intact! A record after 6 weeks!) turkey of Toby’s. I saw it out of the corner of my eye just as I shifted in my chair and assumed it was a cat, a dog, a cat or a cat, and see how well they have me trained? They don’t even have to make a sound or nudge me, as soon as they’re in my vision my hand drops to pet.
I’m doomed.
Whoops. So much for about me blather. Guess I’ll have to work on that tomorrow. Actually, later today.
Originally posted elsewhere April ‘08
In the dog world, if you own a purebred show dog, they must remain unaltered/NOT spayed or neutered, so they are referred to as a ‘Bitch’ for Females and a ‘Dog’ for Males. Although it’s taken me a while, I finally found a program that is helping me with the cost to have Toby neutered by his own vet, which I am very pleased with, because its close, and they know Toby since they are his regular doctors.
His appointment is Tuesday morning.
He is half Chihuahua and half Miniature Pinscher, he has an amazing personality for a ’small dog’, he loves people, isn’t shy or yappy or nippy or weird and I have been asked a few times if I am going to breed him. No.
He IS a great dog, but since he’s turned one I have noticed a little change in his attitude/behavior and its typical male, testosterone induced behavior. He’ll be much happier and more relaxed being neutered, and healthier. Dogs don’t live in their minds like humans do, so he won’t be mourning the ‘loss of his manhood’ or anything, he’ll just not have that hormonal distraction. He’ll be happier enjoying our walks without his little distractions, and won’t have to worry about certain cancers as he ages.
The only downside I can see from his being neutered is that he is already a bit top (front) heavy. He runs down the stairs so fast his rear legs sometimes never touch the ground. He doodies sometimes and his whole back end comes right up off the ground! He’s run to the end of his leash and almost went end over end because he jerked to a stop and his back end is so light it just comes off the ground & goes airborne, keeps on going. So if I need to I’ll have to have his little scrawny back legs fitted with weights to balance him out.
But seriously, yeah, he might make cute and well tempered babies, but trust me, there are more than enough cool puppies & dogs out there who need a home right now.
Not to mention the cats & kittens (kittens are even harder than puppies to find GOOD homes for!). I have 3 cats and all of them are ‘fixed’.
And it’s Spring, so the Canines & Felines will be out en force, so PLEASE either keep their fluffy butts indoors or get them fixed. And if you find yourself furry-friendless, consider adopting a stress reliever/best friend who never cares how you look, what you wear, what you drive, how much money you have (as long as there’s enough for kibble) if you showered today, if you pass gas too much, if you don’t go to church, if you are OCD… you get the idea. And they’re always insanely happy to see you even if you just go to the mail box and back! Even cats, they just don’t like to show it, it’ll ruin their reputation.
